Having ordered that bouquet to be delivered to her, I slipped my phone back into my jeans pocket and with my bagpack, I started to head out of the platform and out of KL Sentral. Having booked an Uber for a ride back to my little rented room in Bangsar, I waited at the pick up point. At all times while waiting for the Uber ride, I couldn't stop myself from hoping she will walk pass me one more time.
The Uber arrived and I got into my ride, as my thoughts wondered on Thila and her smile and without me realizing, what usually is a frustrating 30 minutes drive in traffic flew away without me realizing.
I couldn't wait for the next day already. A million thoughts and possible outcomes ran through my mind about the way she will react to my bouquet. Will she smile about it, throw it away, ignore it or find my gesture as a nice romantic sign and we could head out on a date. I was already thinking where I should take her for a date and what do I speak to her during the date? I was overwhelmed with emotions and it was perhaps the toughest night for me to fall asleep.
The next day at office, I couldn't stop myself from checking my phone every five minutes, to see if there was a call or a text from an unknown number. Every time my phone vibrated, I will drop everything I was doing and attend my phone rightaway. It was lunch time already and I was yet to hear anything from her. Maybe, just maybe the florist is yet to deliver her the bouquet.
With doubts starting to creep in, I called the florist to confirm if my bouquet deliver has been completed. My worst nightmare came through. They informed me that the bouquet was delivered at 9.27 a.m. as per the system to the right address and the person who accepted the bouquet confirmed herself to be Thila.
My facial expression just changed, I stood frozen for a moment, didn't know how to process the information. The florist operator had to check to see if I was still on the line. After thanking her for her support, I ended the call. The crack in my voice would have been too obvious so much so that even the operator would have realized that I was heart broken.
After hanging up the call, I came back to my lunch table, seating opposite my boss Ms Nisha. Ms Nisha is someone who is in her early forties and a mother of two. She had this look of a dynamic driven leader who you instantly look up to, yet is someone who is friendly enough for you to discuss your personal issues with.
As I sat, Ms Nisha noticed the change in my face and asked me, "Varun what is wrong with you today? Your thoughts isn't at work today. You seem to be off the pace since morning. Do you want to take the second half of the day off and come back fresh tomorrow. I rather have you on leave then have an unproductive member in the team. What's up boy? What happened during the call? Your face just changed when you hung up the call."
I told her everything that happened the previous day. From the part I caught Thila's beautiful smile and eyes, to the point I found out that despite having received the bouquet, she choose not to call me back. Maybe she thought I was a freak to send a bouquet to her right after one conversation.
And then Ms.Nisha said, "Yeah maybe she thought you are indeed a freak, but have you thought to consider this fact. It is a Monday, and maybe just maybe she is overwhelmed at work just like how you and me are and maybe she wouldn't know how to process the fact she received a a bouquet from a guy she barely knew 24 hours ago."
She took a sip of her iced Milo and continued, "Give her some time Varun, she will get back to you. Personally I think that was a sweet gesture. Give her some time boy, she will call you back. Now are you going to finish that fried rice and get back to work?"
"Anyways Varun, what do you think about Vaishnavi?" asked Ms. Nisha. "Why boss? She is a nice person, work well with the team and has surely improved our team very much. Why boss? Are you considering to promote her or something?" I asked. "Haha nothing Varun, just wanted your thoughts that's all." said Ms.Nisha.
"Anyways Varun, what do you think about Vaishnavi?" asked Ms. Nisha. "Why boss? She is a nice person, work well with the team and has surely improved our team very much. Why boss? Are you considering to promote her or something?" I asked. "Haha nothing Varun, just wanted your thoughts that's all." said Ms.Nisha.
I don't know if what she said made sense or not but it surely did make me feel a little better. I finished up my lunch with Ms. Nisha and treated her for her meal as a sign of thank you for her advice. With that we left the mamak shop which is around the office and head back to work to complete the task for the day.
This time I was more at peace and was able to get more things done in the second half of the day, than I got in the first half of the day. Every time Ms. Nisha caught me staring at my phone, she would say, "Be patient boy, the call will come. Now complete my work before you leave. That is what gets you paid" in a kidding manner.
Work came to an end and she never called me. By the time I packed my dinner at a nearby eatery nearby home and reach back was about 9 p.m. already thanks to the massive Monday evening traffic. I was already exhausted from the drive back in traffic and by the time I had my dinner and read the news of the day, my eyes were already dozing off, yet the corner of my eye was always observing my phone.
As I was about to call it a day, my phone rang. It was a number which was never saved. With a rush of blood to the head, I jumped out of the bed with full of excitement and nerves. "It has to be her, it has to be Thila." I composed myself to sound casual on the phone before answering it.
"Hello." said a sweet beautiful voice. I just closed my eyes to savor the beauty of her voice in silence. "Hello, is this Varun?" She asked to confirm if I was still on the line and if it was right number.
"Hi yes, Varun here. Erm can I know who is this please?" I asked despite knowing it is her. "Hi Varun, this is Thila here. I received your bouquet today. It was really beautiful. Loved it a lot Varun." she said.
"Haha thanks Thila, I hope it made your day. Just felt it was the right thing to do for you." I said with all smiles in my room. "Haha yeah, it did made my day and the message was lovely too" she said with a little pause. I knew the little pause wasn't a good sign.
"But?" I asked. "What but Varun?" she questioned, to which I said, "The little pause in you suggest that there is a "but"coming. So but?". She was quite for a little while and than proceed, "Yes Varun, there is a but. I am sorry I can't go on a date with you. I have been engaged to a guy who I have been in a relationship with the last 2 years plus." she said.
My heart was crushed and it sank. I didn't know how to react to that. I visualized many different scenario's of this call but none of it has it Thila being engaged. I just stood there and said "Ah, okey Thila."
She continued by saying, "You are indeed a sweet nice guy Varun, but I don't think I should be seeing you knowing you have the intentions to date me. That wouldn't be right to my fiancee. I am sorry but this call would be the last of it. I don't mean to hurt you or leave you wondering. I called you to let you know that I am already engaged. I am sorry I said anything wrong Varun. You are a nice guy."
"Owh no Thila, you don't have to apologies. I had no idea you were engaged. If I knew you were engaged, never would I send the bouquet. I feel so bad doing so. I am really sorry Thila. Sure yes, I myself do think it wouldn't be right for us to go out with me having the intentions of dating you, now knowing you are engaged. That will be very wrong indeed." I tried to say that with a positive tone, but it was perhaps the most painful thing I had to say while trying to maintain a smile.
"Thank you Varun, thank you for understanding things. That will be all. Wish you all the best and hope you do find someone soon. Take care Varun, bye." she said and with me saying bye, we hung up the phone.
About 24 hours ago, I met this amazing lady with the most beautiful smile I have ever seen. I thought maybe, just maybe she could be the one. 24 hours later I got to know she is engaged to someone. It has only been 24 hours since I saw her. I don't know much about her clearly, yet it hurts as if I lost someone very special to me.
I am poor at expressing my emotions. All I can do now is try to get some sleep and hope for a better day tomorrow and move on from this beautiful smile. I don't know just how yet I will have to do it, but I know I will do it. Looks like I have to start from scratch again then. With that I call it a night and hope for a better tomorrow
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